I wrote this piece for my daughter when she was 16 years old and a struggling teenager.  At the time, she did not know about my past and my decision to defy the KGB and risk capture by the FBI for only one reason: To be with her and to take care of her.

 Today, I would say some things differently (for example, unconditional love can be experienced by anybody, not just a parent, and doors that may close could open again – but if you fail to walk through doors that open early, it is a waste of time).  Regardless, I chose to share this in the original since it reflects my emotions and state of mind some 13 years ago.  So here it goes:

At the risk of repeating myself, I just want to tell you one more time about this thing called unconditional love.  This is something only parents have. This love is instinctual and starts the moment a child is born.  It is not something parents choose, it is just there and will never go away.

I will love you with all my heart as long as we both live.  This holds regardless of what you wind up doing in life and how successful you will be at it.  That is the meaning of unconditional love; it is just there and does not require anything in return.

So, when I try to help you to get through your difficulties at school and get a good start for your adult life, it is never about me.  It is personally meaningless to me whether you get good grades or not.  It is only meaningful because I love you and I can see the future in ways still not open to you.  Why can I see the future?  Because I have lived my own future, and I have watched many others do the same.  It is called experience, and a thinking person’s experience is worth a ton.

As I told you before, you are truly at a crossroads.  If you pick the correct path, there will be many doors open for you to create your own happiness.  If you let yourself drift down the wrong path, those doors will be closed, and they will never open again.  It is because of my love and my sense of responsibility for a child I helped put into this world that I have been getting involved in your life with this high level of intensity.

Forgive me when I occasionally get emotional in the process.  Again, it is never about me.  I don’t get embarrassed if you bring home a bad grade.  I only get sad. Imagine you had to witness somebody doing bad things to your parrot.  It would tear your heart out, wouldn’t it?  Just imagine this magnified ten times when I see you doing bad things to yourself!

I am an optimist at heart, and I know that you have a really good and strong core.  This gives me confidence that you will do what it takes to lay the foundation for a happy life.  You do have to do most of the work yourself, but as long as I am able to I will be there to guide and support you.  Forgive my occasional emotional outbursts; they are the result of an explosive mix of love and frustration.

Your loving father.

And she blossomed!